The importance of being a good listener

If you read about conducting interviews, you may learn about the need to acknowledge yet not affirm, the need to leave space for the interviewee, the 'don't' of not putting words into the discourse/vocabulary of the interviewee, the appropriateness of open questions, the usefulness of probes, and all that good stuff. There is a lot you can do to be a quality or poor interviewer.

What I have come to realize is that while many feign interest in another's conversation, the people who can give me 'space' to reply to their questions mean that my contribution to the conversation will be more generous. When those who are listening actually look in my eyes and nod appropriately at particular points, then they get so much more from me as I am encouraged to speak. This is not rocket science, but it highlights how so many of us are poor at listening. We do not have two mouths and one ear. But we privilege speaking over listening. And we should acknowledge that if we listen really well and privilege that practice, we in fact encourage a quality of response that is not achieved if the audience to whom one is speaking is not interested. We can reach a higher state of awareness and knowledge and connectedness if we listen well to others. There is value in that practice for us and for those to whom we are listening to.

People are important. Life is valuable.

How much more could we get out of people if we just listened better to them? Let's see - make someone the complete focus of your attention.

I didn't listen well recently . . . . I've just been reading Bourdieu's On Television and as I've had quite a few radio interviews, it made me realize that in the last one I had, the questions that were asked of me were actually so poorly constructed that I should have said, "I do not understand your question" rather than just making up a so-called articulate answer on some topic I did understand and could converse about. Journalists need to be accountable too, as well as those of us who believe we have something to say about something we consider important.

Bourdieu talks about fast thinking. It is esteemed by our thirst for sensationalist television. We like those who can think quick on their feet, but we should not dismiss those who engage in a process of thinking and who can contribute far better quality to conversations once they have had time to cogitate.